When I woke this morning there was a cloud following me. It was stuck above my head casting a shadow over my day. I had a feeling of dread and I don’t know why.
It could have been linked to the nightmare economic situation that was unveiled yesterday. It could have been because I just want to be able to hug my Mum and Dad. It could be that it is a year tomorrow since my beloved horse had to go to hospital because he was seriously ill.
The truth is I don’t know what is causing it. But I know what it is. I am battling anxiety. I am not alone in this and I know that many more people will be in the same situation or even worse. Today isn’t too bad because I did want to get up and go outside even though I was dreading what May greet me.
So here I am sat writing this blog with a quiet stables and my horse softly eating his hat in the stable behind me. I know that there is only me that can push this cloud away. I have to talk to myself with the logical bit of my brain.
I have plenty of work which as a new business I am very grateful for. I am working with some amazing people and enjoy what I do. I have food, water and a roof over my head. I speak to and see Mum and Dad every day and they are doing ok. My horse has battled through another year and is still here at 25 thanks to some wonderful vets.
I am lucky that I have family and friends around me who will hold me when I need it and give me a shake when I need it. But like many I hide what I am feeling a lot of the time it is just easier that way.
So I will get through today and try to deal with whatever happens and try to push this cloud away. If this resonates with you then I hope you have support around to help. If this all sounds alien then just be kind to people as you never know what is going on inside.