This is not the normal blog post I do and may just be a selection of thoughts. For that I apologise but as writing is the only thing I know and the only way I can deal with things I am attempting to make sense of the past week.
The reality is that there is no sense to the past two days, is it really only two days without you Mum. This last 48 hours has felt like a lifetime. A lifetime of pain, darkness and loss.
This time last week I was buying birthday cake, wrapping Mum’s present and planning me and my Dad doing an afternoon tea for her. Today we are planning her funeral and wondering how life can carry on.
I had 51 years of fantastic times and memories that will be some comfort in the future. At the moment all I can see are those short 20 minutes where my life split into the old life and whatever comes next.
My Mum was a very private person but was a phrase I keep using ‘a force of nature’. She produced amazing artworks and wrote for no one but herself and her close family. I have so many things that she has made, painted or created that are in every room of our house. I can’t comprehend that innovative, creative and unique thinking has left this world.
I have been so incredibly touched by all the messages and kind words. I wish I could have the strength to respond to everyone but I can’t find the words. Please just know that every thought you send our way, every prayer and every message is so very welcomed and special to us.
I could write a book about my Mum and perhaps in time I should. So I won’t keep rambling here. But for those who has been through the darkness I am experiencing your messages mean a lot. It gives me a little hope that I will find a way forward. For those who are blessed to have a Mum in their lives for me please send a message, call her or give her a hug.
Amandacomms's Blog 
so sorry of your loss. take care of yourself and give Edward an extra hug
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So sorry for your loss! My mum passed away 6 years ago and I miss her very much. She comes to visit me in my dreams sometimes. They are not really gone, they are always in our hearts, with us. xxx
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Hello Amanda.
People say there is nothing worse that losing a child. In my experience losing a close parent is just as bad, having had to suffer both I know.
Life is a circle and count your blessings you had 51 yrs with her. You will have so many memories all of which will only be good in time. Any bad memories of the here and now will diminish. All you can do for the moment is continue to support your dad, as he will you and cry when you need to, don’t be ashamed to cry or laugh. Remember your mum how she would want you to remember her. Xx
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Hello Amanda I’m so sorry for your loss of your mum .you should write down all your mums memories and tales for future generations.i m doing that .i don’t think that we are ever prepare to lose our mums .as you say they are our best friends.sending heartfelt sympathies to you and your family.
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Amanda, so sorry for your loss. May her memories and spirit keep her alive with you. There is always a sense that loved people never leave us as they have left with us a soul inprint. Our thoughts and prayers with you and your family
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