Five lessons from a place of grief

It is now six weeks since my life was turned upside down with the sudden and unexpected death of my Mum. At the time I wrote about the despair and loss that I felt and it is still with me.

Grief is something I hadn’t paid much attention to over the years. My life had been pretty stable and except for the death of my grandparents everything had jogged along pretty ok. How lucky I was and yet I never realised it.

Since my eyes have been opened to the pain that exists in the world I can see my former life as the privileged time that it was. There is so much grief in the world and it never gets recognised. We brush over it and avoid talking about it. I do this all the time with my usual ‘I am fine’ reply.

In recent weeks I have posted on social media some of the ups and downs of what I am going through. It isn’t because I want to get anything in reply. All I want to do is to try and get people to see what is happening before their eyes and to encourage people to talk about grief. We should not shy away from it.

What I have learnt from the recent weeks can be summed up in five points:

1. Appreciate what you have every day and find the good

2. Tell those you love that you love them today, don’t wait as tomorrow may never come

3. Be a little bit kinder than you need to (that was one of my Mum’s mantras)

4. Grief is not linear and comes in waves so be easy on yourself

5. Life is incredibly fragile so never take it for granted. Grab every day.

For everyone who has shared, liked or commented on those recent posts thank you. All the kind words are helpful.

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