**Guest Blog by Sandra Edwards of Sandra Edwards Consulting**
Over the last three months it’s felt like we have lost control of life. Things that we took for granted were suddenly out of reach and dictates from the government were telling us what we can and can’t do. Now we are expected to start emerging into a new kind of normal. It’s a little daunting to say the least and we need to ease ourselves into it at a pace that suits our individual circumstances and personalities.
The elephant in the room that is uncertainty. How do you eat your elephant?
One bite at a time.
Now is the time to dust off your goals and aspirations and check if they are still relevant. Break the bigger goals down into smaller wins and take back control over little tasks which will lead to bigger gains in the long term.
When I want to feel more in control my default activity is cleaning and decluttering, even sorting out a drawer, clearing my inbox, tidying my desk. All little mundane things that help me regain some focus on life. When I have focus and a sense of purpose it enables me to move forward, a sense of purpose is the biggest resilience boost there is.
- The circle of concern contains matters which you can do nothing about and is an area where we generally waste a lot of time and effort worrying over things, we can do nothing about. (Those world events that we see on the news)
- The circle of influence contains matters over which you have some influence – it can be equally important but may not be the best return on investment of your efforts. (People who you are communicating to)
- The circle of control contains matters over which you have full control and is where you should focus the majority of your effort. (Your own actions and reactions)
It’s so important to focus on controlling the controllables which at the end of the day is all about ourselves. The more you can control and be responsible for your own actions and reactions the less impact those things you can’t control will have.
As communicators, it’s important to be in control of self and be able to remove our own beliefs and values from the communication.
Very often we will have little or no influence over events, so operating in the circle of concern will use a lot of energy with little effect. If we choose to step outside the event (yes, we all have the power to choose our responses) and communicate from our circle of control, we will increase the power of the communication tenfold.
If we chose to dwell on what we are communicating and start to put our own beliefs and values onto the meaning or causality of an event it will reduce the impact of the communication. Changing it to an opinion rather than a communication. As everyone’s beliefs and values are different, once a communication has an opinion attached it will be perceived differently and given different meanings depending on the beliefs and values of the recipient. This will dilute the original communication as people make their own ‘sense’ of the facts.
By concentrating on your circle of control (your own actions and reactions) you will expand it which will in turn grow your circle of influence and shrink your area of concern enabling you to communicate with authority and clarity.
If you feel you’ve lost control or are feeling a sense of overwhelm and anxiety, contact me for a coaching conversation, completely free of charge, and find out how I can get you back on track.
*Between 3pm and 4pm on Friday 19 June you can join my Back on Track webinar. More details and registration visit my webpage https://www.sandraedwardsconsulting.co.uk/events/
Sandra runs Sandra Edwards Consulting and is an experienced professional and personal development coach, qualified Master Practitioner in Neuro Linguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy ™ and Advanced Hypnosis Techniques.